As a seminarian, there seems to be lots of things that annoy me and certain things that I want to do to be annoying, (I mean C’mon, I am a celibate man!!! For the love of all things, let me have some fun!)
…Before ordination to Priesthood, in the next few years, God willing, I think I need to get some stuff out of my system! Certain annoyances, wishes, pet peeves and what not; Soooooooooo here goes!
. Find all the people who leave shopping carts abandoned in Grocery store parking lots and take a key to their respective cars.
. Invite all the people who don’t wash, to not take public Transportation. Instead be forced to walk slowly through a full car wash…backwards
. Enter and leave every room in the house blasting Europe’s ‘The Final Countdown’ complete with smoke and fireworks,.. pro wrestling style.
. Play really loud bagpipes, while walking through a public library…
. Answer 17! (Really enthusiastically )to the people at a restaurant who ask ‘How many ketchups do you want?’
Wear a DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince t-shirt in Harlem while quoting random ‘Arnold ‘ from Diff’rent Strokes,… ‘Whachoo talkin’bout Willis?’
. Feed red Skittles to 18 year old douchebags in the gym, telling them it’s a flavored pro hormone that will not only increase their size and strength but also their libido,…Sit back and watch placebo take effect…
. Introduce myself as George Costanza, representative of the human fund,.(to a newly arrived immigrant)
. Eliminate all pigeons. (Because they are kamikaze sky rats who will try to pick food off the street within an inch of the wheel of your car.)
. Find a list of all Jehovah’s Witnesses in the neighbourhood, ring their doorbells and hand out free copies of MAD magazine…