Thursday, February 25, 2010

Fitness 'Gurus' and Snake Oil Production

A few months back I wrote about an impending exam I was to have taken regarding a certification as a personal trainer. Well, I wrote the exam and sadly, I passed with flying colors. A little history,..while decompressing the stresses of life, I decided to work at a gym(my uncle's) while at the same time working out. Taking an active role behind the counter enabled me to process the many different theories and fads within the gym industry all claiming to be the next 'evolution' in muscle gain, or loss of fat. One faithful day, I heard the ultimate whopper,..I will not mention it because I have already had it out with 'said' individual regarding an issue pertaining to his/her lack of knowledge within the industry. My friend, who is a scientist, had to keep himself from falling off the stool, because although I am not mentioning this issue, it fell within the category of lacking basic grade 9 biology. I was told I didn't know, because they were qualified. Fair enough.

The next day, after a long night of online investigation, I proposed to my friend that we should just write the exam for fun, see what happens. I borrowed a textbook from a friend, (this textbook belonged to another certification program...)read it twice, memorized a glossary of terms and was ready for action. The exam was 90 questions in part one,..120 questions in part two, a case study, then finally a practical exam. We watched video, and basically mimicked what we were taught. The drive back was laborious. Although now technically certified,..I felt like I needed a shower. This whole industry is a scam! Personal training certifications abound in number, (500 different bodies alone in the US). What does that tell you,..well, if I were smart, I would have created a company to certify myself, then go into business! Oh well.

You want a trainer, remember that you will be paying someone to be your friend for an hour, if not do your homework! Make sure the individual is knowledgable and passionate about his/her trade. This link, is one I will personally endorse and is the epidimy of knowledge and professionalism.


Thursday, February 18, 2010

Okay,..last one seriously,...hehehe...

Yesterday I mentioned that I would only be blogging sporadically for the next couple of weeks because of Lent. That being said, yesterday's news on the political front, well, name,.two words,..Lucien Bouchard! In what could best be described as a WWE wrestling angle gone bad for the PQ,..Bouchard delivered a political chair shot to his former party. He accussed the partie quebecois of breeding radicalization (No!)among its militants with its xenophobic repertoire of immigration views and draconian language policies. He also said that he will never forget Marois comparing his brother to the mythical Elvis Gratton (Think Big! Sti!). After that he went for his finisher, (another prowrestling analogy...)that sovereignty is only a dream, Quebecers do not want to sever their ties with Canada, and that should not be the priority right now! If only good ole' Jim Ross were there to call the action,..Bouchard! Bouchard! dammit Bouchard!

Yesterday saw some action in the National Assembly as Charest picked on Marois with the voracity of a schoolyard bully. Ha! Who says that Canadian politics are boring?,..


Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Happy Ash Wednesday...

Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return...Today marks the beginning of Lent, a time of preparation before Easter within the Liturgical calender mirroring Christ's sojourn into the desert. Usually a time of penitance for the Faithful leading up to the Paschal week. During the next forty days, my blog posts will probably become more sporadic and less 'once a week.' I will comment on some things from time to time, including our 'inclusive society's' retreats reaffirming our 'okayness.' This sounds a bit bleak, however what is the point of a Lenten retreat if there is no mention of Hell. My question to these pseudo theologians, What exactly does Jesus save us from if Hell doesn't exist?

I would also like to take this time to show my solidarity with French Canadians. The lack of french during the opening ceremonies was tantamount to an insulting provocation. Don't get me wrong, I'm a proud Canadian, but we are a bilingual country, therefore French should be accorded its proper place and prominence.

That's all for now,..

Pax Domini...

Thursday, February 11, 2010


Last week, Michael Voris from RealCatholictv broke a story about the United States Bishops' Conference being in bed with the pro-choice/pro-gay 'marriage' league of left leaning socialists and hippie survivors from the sixties. Well,..I guess that about explains it! You see for the last two years, this blog has served at least in a minimal capacity to underscore authentic true Catholicism. Not the Social Justice crowd, (btw that title is a sure giveaway...)that conveniently silences abortion or the gay agenda. It's about time people people are starting to wake up to the fruit of Vatican II,..not the magical demonic 'spirit of the council.' (Notice how I did not capitalize that part!) Things are lookin up folks,.and the hippie priests are slowly dying out being replaced by younger orthodox ones! We in Canada are experiencing the same trend!

What can we do? The answer is pray! That's for sure,..but we also need to confront nonsense where it occurs! Too many people blindly do what their parish priest tells them. We forget that his authority is delegated by Christ to the Bishops and must be in line with the teachings of the Church. That's not to say we should be rude and confrontational,..but we need to know our Faith and assert it! Funny, we don't see movies being made at the expense of the Muslim religion...or the Jewish Faith,..why? Because they won't take it! If a Bishop decrees that he won't allow the Latin Mass,..write to your nuncio!!! As the liberals say,...'Call to Action!'

How 'bout dem apples?!?


Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Case of Online Multiple Personality Disorder!

Moonlighting as a personal trainer, I have found myself trying to create a character different from my online persona. Marco Mastro is very Thomistic minded while my alter ego Optimusmastro might attempt to sell his mother to a goldfish farm in order to turn a profit. Actually that's not entirely true. Optimusmastro earns a living by promoting other people's products online, however I have not stooped too far in my goals of reaching online solicitation. (Translation: I have not become the online Amway guy...) As a trainer, I understand that first and foremost my strength lies within an information medium, I like to write articles, and I have a strange allergic reaction to junk science or any other gimmick now coming to fruition within the fitness/nutrition world. Marco Mastro delves in Catholic Apologetics, Optimusmastro sells stuff online, therefore I would like this opportunity to introduce my latest incarnation as Wolver....err sorry, got carried away, Optimusmuscle! Wow! Even I can comment as to whether or not 'Cheesy' or better still its french counterpart, 'fromage' (to be pronounced with a heavy english accent...)ca adequately describe this attempt at marketing.

Well,..I know this post is devoid of substance, but I felt levity was in order,..therefore should anyone have any suggestions as to what I should call myself while doing doing the fitness 'thing' kindly email me, or leave a comment.


Wednesday, February 3, 2010


While I know we are several weeks removed from this disaster, I am only now feeling ready to speak/comment about it. As my readership already knows,..I am quite philosophical/theological and attempt to put everything that happens into a 'hierarchy of truth,' to speak. Well, it seems this disaster has left me at a loss for words. My normal dry satirical outlook and sociological ridicule with which I view the world has been replaced by a more serene introspective look with which to offer ontological commentary,..(does what I said even make sense???)

I find myself with an all too simplistic answer trying to solve the riddle of why this disaster happened. In one respect, my intellectual side wants to declare that 'God allows 'bad' to happen, in order to draw a greater 'good' out of it. Unfortunately my temporal sensual side does not want to hear that response, (born out of Thomism...)and instead will only gravitate towards a more human experience, leaving aside (if for the moment,.) the ideal.

St Jude,..patron saint of hopeless causes, pray for us!