Return to Sanity...

Okay so once again, its fess up time.  Yes, for a while I was bitter! Bitter, angry, confused, complacent, lazy, arrogant, self-absorbed and not to mention jealous.  Stuck in a rut and blaming society for my own problems without realizing as I pointed the one finger, three fingers were pointing right back at me!  So what do you do in times of crisis?  You get away.   You retreat and think that maybe its not just the world, that I have something to do with it too.  My conversion story (ongoing,..) can be found throughout this blog in different archived sections but one constant has always remained with me,..Priesthood.  It has been bubbling for some time, and whether it be politics or just my own ego in the way,..I never truly discerned and always found excuses for reasons not to go past the 'Come and See' evenings....All this changed, when my parish priest, a good and holy man, and myself went for a drink, and he taught me a valuable lesson, diplomacy!!!  Instead of viewing my Catholic Faith as something to hit people over the head with,..try leading by example and fostering a prayer life, correction an authentic prayer life!  There is nothing wrong with being orthodox, and believe me when I say that should Christ call me to priesthood, (which btw, my parish priest believes...) I will never water down the Faith!  In plain speak, I am not discerning priesthood because I have already been rejected by the world, but instead will trust in God to lead me where He knows I will be truly happy. 

So what I'm I saying?  Well, as of next tuesday, Septembre 6th,..I will be an external student at the Grand Seminary of Montreal.  External students are not seminarians in the true sense, but people wanting to study and deepen there theological acumen, that means that I can sleep at home.  I will be working closely with a Spiritual Director on a regular basis, who will help me discern whether or not priesthood would be a fit for me.  Right now, I ask for prayers,..please keep me in your prayers,..because like St Faustina, I must say Jesus, I Trust in You!,.This doesn't mean that I will stop training, wear my pants up around and under my nipples and have a sudden inclination to start colouring banners..I still believe in a Catholic men's bootcamp, I still think that far too many priests follow the Father Fruitcake example and there is a serious crisis in manhood!  What about the sexual appetite you ask?  Despite my willingness to put my big toe in the water as it regards a future potential ontological change, I highly doubt that God will take away my manhood.  Through prayer, fasting and spiritual direction, it is something that I will hopefully be able to exercise a greater degree of freedom over.  What do I mean?  'Freedom' in its truest sense,..the ability to do what you ought, not doing whatever you want,..that's 'license.'  Who knows?  Maybe the Cybertronian will eventually turn into the Seminarian?  Confessions of a Thirty Something Seminarian?  Time will tell...Please pray..

Mary, Mother of Priests,.........Ora Pro Nobis.