***Before I begin this post, I would like to give a fair warning to any parents reading this, or to kids who follow this blog. I will be tackling an issue which many guys are ashamed to admit and following from my own struggle lay out a blueprint suitable for men struggling with that same issue. Due to the content, I encourage parents to read this before letting their children read this, secondly, I encourage women to read this in order to better understand the struggle that us guys go through, and finally, I'll encourage couples to read this, as a way of sanctifying their own marriages.***
As was mentioned this post is going to cut straight to the bone as only I can without pulling any punches or wishy washy stuff. Here goes. In today's day and age, men struggle with pornography addiction. period. Exclamation mark! Unfortunately 'pop' psychology has declared (infallibly...) that this is normal and healthy. Well,.Let's paint a picture,..You come home, tired wanting to 'surf' the net and lo and behold you stumble upon some suggestive pictures. Your brain, being the camera that it is, begins to process, and within thirty seconds, arousal has been initiated.
Now at this point, do I need to go into epinephrine/dopamine and every other cocktail rushing out your pituatary? Or can I just get to the meat and potatoes of the situation? I'm gonna go with the latter!! Okay Pornography, the attack is on, now gentlemen, time to mount a defense!
1. Pray!! Unite your suffering to the Cross! (Rosary, sorrowful mysteries, Jesus getting scourged at the pillar.) In my experience a powerful tag team can be the Holy Spirit and the Blessed Mother!!! (headed into the spiritual ring managed by St Maria Goretti!)
2. Stay calm,..remember that your free will is just that, free will! If need be, turn off your computer and as dumb as this sounds, lie on the floor, hard wood surface, (a little shout out to St Jose Maria Escriva).
Usually this will relieve the initial onslaught, only now you as a tactician need to train, thus preparing yourself for the next onslaught..So here we go, let's develop a blueprint for action!
Step one. Pray. Ask that God grant you the Grace to overcome this hurdle. Recognize it for what it is! Understand your own dignity as a human being, and the fact that the person in the image or on the screen has the same dignity,..(meaning, she could be someone's daughter, wife, mother or sister.)
Step two. Find a Spiritual director. Someone, a priest preferably, in order for you to be held accountable as you begin the battle. Start the practice of frequent confession and bathe in the Graces of absolution. This won't be won overnight, in fact in won't be won at all, until death. Christ through His merits on the cross has freed us, but our free will again remains intact.
Step three. Apply an internet adult protection setting against such stuff. This will enable you not to have access to sites containing pornography. Set it up, choose the most ludricous of passwords, strange combinations of letters and numbers, and then forget said password!!! So much for the internet!
Step four. Now that the internet is under control, the battle will rage on elsewhere, magazines, etc..Step four is corporal mortification. You don't have to beat yourself silly with a whip, a simple stone in your shoe will suffice. Needless to say, that at the end of the day, the discomfort you will feel will distract you from any other extra curricular activity of that sort, that you would have engaged in.
Step five. Keep busy. Often times, sloth leads to this particular sin. By keeping busy, our mind becomes occupied with other thoughts and actions other than those types.
So there you go, gentlemen. A blueprint for the battle that all of us face day in and day out. Remember it won't happen overnight, but don't lose courage, by the Grace of God, it will be made subject to you, not you to 'it.'(As well, it should be noted that the only difference between a Saint and a sinner, is a Saint always gets back up after being knocked down!,..The sinner on the other hand stays down!) We should now be ready for battle! Allright,,. bring it on!!!!
St Maria Goretti,...ora pro nobis.