Nope I didn't found a religion, but I sure as heck gave it a name! Sorry to my readership as this blog post will be more a venting session, and less of a reflection. The emails that I'm getting lately are demonic, the confrontations I'm getting to are nuts and finally I've reached my boiling point! This is not directed towards protestant brethren seeking Truth,..this is directed to my hatemail fan club..
Dear FundaMENTALists
Greetings in the name of Jesus. I respect you as people and respect the Truths that your faith possesses. Now, your probably asking yourself why I respect the Truths of your faith? Well here is the answer in short form,..because they are Catholic Truths first and foremost! When your heretic founders and cult personality leaders took their ball and went home, the Truths they took with them, what they didn't edit out...(By the Way, Your Biiibull has been edited, humm, what does Revelation 22 verse 19 say about that?) all come from the Sacred deposit of the Faith. From now on, Confusiondom and its biiibull , which according to you limited theological acumen, magically fell out of the sky one day all bound together! Within a few more years, another heretic will pop up and declare an apocraphal book of mormon fell on Joe Smith that time he went into the woods! They probably call themselves 'The Concussed Church of Latter Day Saints?' Then one of his followers, we'll call him Little Jimmy, he'll disagree with the congregation wearing helmuts, so he'll form something else, called the Reformed helmutless Church of Latter Day Saints... Sounds crazy eh? Yeah,..You know what else is nuts? SOLA SCRIPTURA! Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort need lobotomies advancing the most ill conceived of incoherent pieces of FundaMENTAList nonsense! So, by your ahem,..'logic,' Jesus Ascends,(going up..) and the Bible, sorry your 66 Biiibull book magazine (at least you have the New Testament, Luther didn't get to hack that one up especially with that whole Epistle of St James being a bit problematic for ya!) floats down? Hey kinda like an elevator!
This dude claimed the end of the world was last May by reading his Biiibull!
Peter Ruckman and the Pensecola Christian Biiibull school have their own little Montreal clique...So boys, pick the Tim Horton's and we'll gladly discuss Theology. I will ask for you to be open, and we'll start with one issue at a time, arguing God's existence! Oooh, I almost forgot, you don't recognize philosophy! Man's search for 'arche.' You begin with the pre supposition that the Biiibull is just THERE! (Did it materialize like in Star Trek?) Sorry Aristotle, your not on the ice for this shift...So please tell me how the Biiibull got to be. If you say the Holy Spirit, what agency put it together? I can't wait to hear this one! In High School, I used to smoke up a fair amount,.but I think this (your Biiibull origins) will be an even better story sober! This gem came from a booklet you stuffed in my mailbox. That Aquinas created 'sacramentalism.' WOW! (nearly peed myself! I didn't know whether I should argue you, cause I was feeling sorry for you!) Let's see, Aquinas, 13th Century, the split with Orthodox happened in 1054, sooooooo two possibilities 1, Aquinas time travelled backwards to teach the Eastern Churches about the Sacraments, or 2, they were doing 'Magic?'
Do you guys ever wonder why even within Confusiondom, the further back you go, like in the religions of Anglicanism/Lutheranism...that it is liturgical? Why do you suppose that is, when by you figure that Jesus founded Pensecola first baptist? Honestly guys, if you do believe this stuff, I hope that society takes away your driver's licenses, because your mental aptitudes are clearly in question.
G.K. Chesterton,........pray for us!
Dear FundaMENTALists
Greetings in the name of Jesus. I respect you as people and respect the Truths that your faith possesses. Now, your probably asking yourself why I respect the Truths of your faith? Well here is the answer in short form,..because they are Catholic Truths first and foremost! When your heretic founders and cult personality leaders took their ball and went home, the Truths they took with them, what they didn't edit out...(By the Way, Your Biiibull has been edited, humm, what does Revelation 22 verse 19 say about that?) all come from the Sacred deposit of the Faith. From now on, Confusiondom and its biiibull , which according to you limited theological acumen, magically fell out of the sky one day all bound together! Within a few more years, another heretic will pop up and declare an apocraphal book of mormon fell on Joe Smith that time he went into the woods! They probably call themselves 'The Concussed Church of Latter Day Saints?' Then one of his followers, we'll call him Little Jimmy, he'll disagree with the congregation wearing helmuts, so he'll form something else, called the Reformed helmutless Church of Latter Day Saints... Sounds crazy eh? Yeah,..You know what else is nuts? SOLA SCRIPTURA! Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort need lobotomies advancing the most ill conceived of incoherent pieces of FundaMENTAList nonsense! So, by your ahem,..'logic,' Jesus Ascends,(going up..) and the Bible, sorry your 66 Biiibull book magazine (at least you have the New Testament, Luther didn't get to hack that one up especially with that whole Epistle of St James being a bit problematic for ya!) floats down? Hey kinda like an elevator!
Peter Ruckman and the Pensecola Christian Biiibull school have their own little Montreal clique...So boys, pick the Tim Horton's and we'll gladly discuss Theology. I will ask for you to be open, and we'll start with one issue at a time, arguing God's existence! Oooh, I almost forgot, you don't recognize philosophy! Man's search for 'arche.' You begin with the pre supposition that the Biiibull is just THERE! (Did it materialize like in Star Trek?) Sorry Aristotle, your not on the ice for this shift...So please tell me how the Biiibull got to be. If you say the Holy Spirit, what agency put it together? I can't wait to hear this one! In High School, I used to smoke up a fair amount,.but I think this (your Biiibull origins) will be an even better story sober! This gem came from a booklet you stuffed in my mailbox. That Aquinas created 'sacramentalism.' WOW! (nearly peed myself! I didn't know whether I should argue you, cause I was feeling sorry for you!) Let's see, Aquinas, 13th Century, the split with Orthodox happened in 1054, sooooooo two possibilities 1, Aquinas time travelled backwards to teach the Eastern Churches about the Sacraments, or 2, they were doing 'Magic?'
Do you guys ever wonder why even within Confusiondom, the further back you go, like in the religions of Anglicanism/Lutheranism...that it is liturgical? Why do you suppose that is, when by you figure that Jesus founded Pensecola first baptist? Honestly guys, if you do believe this stuff, I hope that society takes away your driver's licenses, because your mental aptitudes are clearly in question.
G.K. Chesterton,........pray for us!
3 comments:
even though it is angry and not so charitable the very last thing you said is really so true.
Marco,
Lots of sarcasm, but I get it. Sometimes the hubris and schizophrenia of protestants can be a bit too much. I'm with you brother!
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