Sunday, March 23, 2014

Some Days,..

There are days,.. Yup one of those posts.  Sometimes I take strength in prayer and some days I feel as if Heaven is closed off to me.  All normal, all part of the journey.  I haven’t blogged in a while, because frankly I’m working on me, my weaknesses are of the emotive sort and everyday I die to myself, I hear the whisper of the enemy gently attempting to seduce me. 

The Seminary is a house of formation, a time to grow and deepen one’s relationship with Jesus.  Everyday, I am more and more certrain of this Call  that for years I ran from.  That doesn’t change the fact that I remain a man.  Seeing friends with kids makes me wonder what if I would make a good dad?  Would I be the early morning hockey coach dad?  Bringing kids to sports, dance,.. Being involved in school, teaching them Martial Arts?  Its also tough to see ‘Ex’s in relationships, ..Would I make a good husband?  Then I find myself in ministry, in the field so to speak, and whether I am speaking to someone in jail, a gang leader, drug dealer, biker, doctor, lawyer or anyone, I realize that I have begun to love them.  God is realizing my own paternity in a different way.

In all God has blessed me abundantly.  Lots more work to do on me, and 2014 will see me change even further.  The toughest thing has been ‘letting go’,..  

Our Lady of Perpetual Help,...................ora pro nobis.


Suzanne said...

I'm married and sometimes I wonder if I would have made a good religious. There are no easy paths. You don't know who you would have married. Spouses develop traits, diseases, etc that spring up on you and mar the "happily ever after." Kids are born with difficult conditions. There are no guarantees in life.

Optimusmastro said...

Merci Suzanne,.. I was just thinkin' out loud,..

Rachel M. Gohlman said...

Giving up yourself and laying down your life is a challenge but always remember that before the plant shoots up from the ground, the seed must break open and die. In this way, one's vocation bears great fruit. The full fruits of fatherhood are found in the priest's ministry. Creating children of God through baptism, protecting them through the absolution of sins and nourishing them in the Eucharist.

- Rachel Gohlman.