Introspective Thought Porn

Did that title grab your attention?  I hope so!,.. :)

Who am I?  My identity whether it be in the Church or in the world seems confusing, even to myself.  I am a few ‘ex’s’,. Ex trainer, ex seminarian, you get my point,. So who am I and what is my mission?  I don’t seem to fit in the Ecclesial world and I don’t seem to fit with my old world.  A few weeks back was the memorial of St John of the Cross, a master in Spirituality, and today?,. Well it seems that prayer is difficult, working out isn’t working and I’m searching for a dopamine rush,.. somewhere.  Is this a blog?,. or the diary entry of a fourteen year old girl?

My mission for 2018 is to find an identity.  You see I’m told that I ‘look’ like the world, but am striving to follow Christ.  This poses problems (along with loneliness) as I try to navigate these new ‘waters.’ Gone are the days where I would date the secular ‘good’ woman, and instead I find myself seeking a Catholic one.  The timing is realizing that I’m a ‘work in progress’ striving to follow our Lord, and like any sinner, always falling short.  It appears that I’m a twisted combination of Joe Rogan, Mark Walberg, Thomas Aquinas and well,.. Ultra Magnus. (Perhaps because he can’t ‘deal’ with now! A reference to the iconic 1986 Transformers Animated movie!)

Work 1.  Cemetery

I work in a pastoral context, one of accompanying families at the cemetery.  The burial can be a moment of trauma for many, as the reality of the moment truly sets in.  My job, to listen, to be a voice of reason, even to calmness and to accompany those who wish final prayers before the burial.  My appearance is often the 1^st thing people notice, and while funny at first, it could become an impediment to people encountering God.  My mission is simple, leave every family and every person I encounter with a true sense that God loves them!,.. Perhaps being built like a wrestler is a blockage, but perhaps it also acts as an ‘attention’ getter?  Either way, God uses this to humble me, constantly.  I can’t undo my body, because I’ve never taken steroids and thus my body is natural.  Even if I didn’t train for a month, I would maintain my ‘size.’ 

Work 2.  Jiu Jitsu Instructor

This year saw me get my brown belt under Bruno Fernandes. (Not exactly Joe Shmoe)  Doing so was a call to reality for several reasons.  The first is that I’m no longer in my prime.  Years of sports/combat sports, training and Martial Arts have taken a toll on me.  The reality is that a concussion, cracked rib, and two knee surgeries later, I’m not exactly the apex predator (Sorry Randy Orton) that I once sought to be.  At 40yrs, I need to accept that the athletic blue belt who came over from another style is capable of ‘hangin’ with me, if not outright holding me off or still ‘tappin’ me.  Nonetheless being a BJJ brown belt is an accomplishment, especially considering there was no real ‘Jits’ available when I was 20yrs old!,. (You hear that you young whippersnappers you!)

Let’s put this in a ‘Magic Bullet.’

Now that my work has been addressed, my character development and disposition must be.  If there is one thing that the seminary can be accredited for, it is for revealing and holding up an mirror to one’s own strengths and weaknesses.  Strengths,.. hmmm,.. I guess to some, I remain fearless.  One older Sulpician priest called me a ‘warrior.’  I do fear things though,. Sin for one, my inability to own up to self criticism, and perhaps my ego.  While these at one time served as a strength, they are HUGE weaknesses in the spiritual world.  Being a twisted combination has helped me build authentic bridges with God’s people.  While at the same time, it has alienated me from many in the Clergy.  The quote, ‘Marco, they are just not ready for someone like you’ has constantly been thrown in my direction.  ‘You’re too American’ is still another.  I had mentioned moving forward, but I guess my time in the seminary heading to Priesthood was a true love affair, and what I’m experiencing is akin to a ‘divorce?’.. Not so sure anymore. 

In the end, I remain loyal to Jesus and to my Faith.  My personality intact, albeit bruised (perhaps in need of psychological healing.)  I enjoy Theology, and yes,.. to those detractors, you are right,.. Pope John Paul II’s ‘Veritatis Splendor’ was his ‘halting’ of all the ‘Nouvelle theologie’ synonymous with the ‘spirit of Vatican II’ complete with its moral subjectivism.  As a man who grew up in it, then discovered Thomas Aquinas, I will always affirm the timeless Truths of our Faith, popular or not.  That doesn’t mean it will be done in a malicious/narcissistic manner, yet in a firm and paternal way by the Grace of God. 

My apologies to those readers of this blog who come here hoping to find a frothing at the mouth ‘traditionalist,’ as you won’t.  My opinions on what the Pope may or may not be thinking is simply too far down the list from my own sinful self.  Before I remove the speck in my brother’s eye, I need to address the log in my own.  As Dr Jordan Peterson says,.. I need to clean up my own house.  With God’s help, I hope I can put aside my ego, and let Jesus take the wheel.

May God continue to bless and keep you!

Our Lady of Good Success,…………………….. ora pro nobis.

Trump'ed' Up or Out?

Thinking, clear thinking,.. Is it making a comeback?  Indeed it would seem that this new technological generation which has given way to 'alternative media' is effectively silencing the status quo with regards to global perspectives.  Who's right or wrong, or still which bio-ethical hot button topic of the day will become interwoven inside an editorial narrative put forth by ideologically engineered funding that suits their goal.  The 'right' and the 'left' has become so polarizing that any person channel surfing from FOX to CNN could find themselves battling schizophrenia.

Where do I stand?  I consider myself 'right of center' on socio economic issues, and perhaps the best definition is that I'm 'A classical english liberal.' (to paraphrase Dr Jordan Peterson.) I tend to 'think' with the mind of the Church, while keeping an open perspective to the plights of those not quite in agreement.  I try to see it from their angle, before offering a debate.  The classic example of people advocating homosexual unions inside the Church based upon a false sense of 'mercy' comes to mind.  The Theological argument shows Jesus as open to all, however there is a forgetting of His command to go and 'sin no more.'  (John 8;11)  From the secular perspective, the argument of what happens between two consenting adults falls short, when using their logic, incest between consenting adults would have to be accepted as well!  Otherwise we could invent a new term, calling them 'incestophobic!' (credit to Mark Dice for that one.)

As a Canadian, I eagerly watched the American elections, and I will admit despite being 'right of center' politically, once Trump won the Republican nomination, I was scared.  Despite being 'pro life,' I worried about the media perception of a madman with his button on the nukes.  Nonetheless, once he won, I found it curious that the media CNN, NBC and ABC were almost in overdrive trying to dump him.  Celebrities, (Meryl Streep) issuing pleas to 'stop the hate,' (All the while she applauded Roman Polansky) Madonna threatening to blow up the White House, and Rosie O'Donnell were a continuity.  To be clear, I was no fan of Hilary,.. However this anti-Trump stuff was well,.. demonic!  Why was there a double standard?  I started listening to Joe Rogan's podcast,.. More people speaking about 'pizza gate,' and a deep state.  Russia, etc...

We are a year into Trump's inauguration, and while yes he still remains a blowhard, I found it interesting that the media never reported other things.  The US economy is stronger than ever.  Granted the 'left' says its not because of Trump, however it is still happening under his presidency.  The illegal immigration issue.  Well my Grandfather was in a POW camp in Petawawa during war times,.So you ain't gonna get sympathy from me.  I remember arguing that Trump was being 'unChristian,' and the rebuttal the individual gave me was the media never uses the word 'illegal.'  I countered with, but we are a country (Canada) built on the backs of immigrants along with the french and english,.. 'Dude, do you lock the doors to your house at night? was his reply... Eeesh...Then I found out that Obama pretty much did the same moratorium a few years back.

A few questions,...

The whole Russia collusion.  Did Russia interfere?  Probably.  Doesn't every country's intelligence community attempt to meddle?  Didn't the Obama administration meddle in Israel's?  Then wasn't it Clinton who sold uranium to the Russians?  Comey and Mueller,..Are they not in collusion?  Is their a fake Russian dossier ordered by John McCain?  Eeeesh,...The plot thickens,..

Up next is the METOO movement.  It seems that Hollywood is ripe with sexual abuse of women and minors.  Yet the media hasn't spent much time questioning why Bill Clinton was on Jeffrey Epstein plane to his island.  All these women coming forward,.. The left takes advantage, but even this seems to fizzle out. 

Trump's sh%^hole comments,.. or alleged comments.  Apparently its hearsay.  If he did say it, he does expose himself as an ass, no question.  However name one person who hasn't spoken like this in private?  Does this comment rank in the same league as Slick Willy's bl%&job from Monica Lewinsky along with him lying under oath?  The media at the time stated that it had nothing to do with his capacity to run the country.  Fine.  Then comments that were allegedly said don't either, right?  Even Oprah, (who recently gave an election style speech) what about her comments regarding a generation 'needing to die.'  Ouffff...

My point in all of this is that I enjoy playing 'devil's advocate' especially in the face of a force-fed global narrative.  Trying to read, reread and balance everything from all sources.  A year ago, the news of the Christian bakery refusing to bake a wedding cake for a gay couple made headlines,.. So Steven Crowder decided to go into muslim bakeries asking for a wedding cake for a gay couple,.. Well he also got refused.  Its the Christians however who are the new targets! 

For my fellow Catholics,.. I leave you with this video of Trump,.. watch for yourself, then decide.

Credit to FOX news

**To the liberals who think I'm now a conservative,. just remember that I too was against the Iraq invasion and thought Julian Assange did right by exposing a false war,.. The difference is that I still think he is doing right by exposing another false narrative.**


God bless!

 

SURPRISE!!

A short post and a happy and Holy Sunday to you!  Why am I happy,.because sometimes God gives us little 'a ha' moments that are truly remarkable!  Today, after Mass, I was surfing the web, as I'm writing a paper on St Augustine.  I'm not quite sure how, but I stumbled upon 'Epic Erin Hamilton's blog.  Erin is my cousin through marriage and he pastors a community in California.  The last time we spoke was at my parent's house, discussing Theology in my little study! See here .

Perhaps the start of a long distance ecumenical dialogue between relatives?  The (potential) priest and the pastor?  All that would be missing is the standard 'walk into a bar one day...'

St Joseph,........ora pro nobis.