Introspective Thought Porn

Did that title grab your attention?  I hope so!,.. :)

Who am I?  My identity whether it be in the Church or in the world seems confusing, even to myself.  I am a few ‘ex’s’,. Ex trainer, ex seminarian, you get my point,. So who am I and what is my mission?  I don’t seem to fit in the Ecclesial world and I don’t seem to fit with my old world.  A few weeks back was the memorial of St John of the Cross, a master in Spirituality, and today?,. Well it seems that prayer is difficult, working out isn’t working and I’m searching for a dopamine rush,.. somewhere.  Is this a blog?,. or the diary entry of a fourteen year old girl?

My mission for 2018 is to find an identity.  You see I’m told that I ‘look’ like the world, but am striving to follow Christ.  This poses problems (along with loneliness) as I try to navigate these new ‘waters.’ Gone are the days where I would date the secular ‘good’ woman, and instead I find myself seeking a Catholic one.  The timing is realizing that I’m a ‘work in progress’ striving to follow our Lord, and like any sinner, always falling short.  It appears that I’m a twisted combination of Joe Rogan, Mark Walberg, Thomas Aquinas and well,.. Ultra Magnus. (Perhaps because he can’t ‘deal’ with now! A reference to the iconic 1986 Transformers Animated movie!)

Work 1.  Cemetery

I work in a pastoral context, one of accompanying families at the cemetery.  The burial can be a moment of trauma for many, as the reality of the moment truly sets in.  My job, to listen, to be a voice of reason, even to calmness and to accompany those who wish final prayers before the burial.  My appearance is often the 1^st thing people notice, and while funny at first, it could become an impediment to people encountering God.  My mission is simple, leave every family and every person I encounter with a true sense that God loves them!,.. Perhaps being built like a wrestler is a blockage, but perhaps it also acts as an ‘attention’ getter?  Either way, God uses this to humble me, constantly.  I can’t undo my body, because I’ve never taken steroids and thus my body is natural.  Even if I didn’t train for a month, I would maintain my ‘size.’ 

Work 2.  Jiu Jitsu Instructor

This year saw me get my brown belt under Bruno Fernandes. (Not exactly Joe Shmoe)  Doing so was a call to reality for several reasons.  The first is that I’m no longer in my prime.  Years of sports/combat sports, training and Martial Arts have taken a toll on me.  The reality is that a concussion, cracked rib, and two knee surgeries later, I’m not exactly the apex predator (Sorry Randy Orton) that I once sought to be.  At 40yrs, I need to accept that the athletic blue belt who came over from another style is capable of ‘hangin’ with me, if not outright holding me off or still ‘tappin’ me.  Nonetheless being a BJJ brown belt is an accomplishment, especially considering there was no real ‘Jits’ available when I was 20yrs old!,. (You hear that you young whippersnappers you!)

Let’s put this in a ‘Magic Bullet.’

Now that my work has been addressed, my character development and disposition must be.  If there is one thing that the seminary can be accredited for, it is for revealing and holding up an mirror to one’s own strengths and weaknesses.  Strengths,.. hmmm,.. I guess to some, I remain fearless.  One older Sulpician priest called me a ‘warrior.’  I do fear things though,. Sin for one, my inability to own up to self criticism, and perhaps my ego.  While these at one time served as a strength, they are HUGE weaknesses in the spiritual world.  Being a twisted combination has helped me build authentic bridges with God’s people.  While at the same time, it has alienated me from many in the Clergy.  The quote, ‘Marco, they are just not ready for someone like you’ has constantly been thrown in my direction.  ‘You’re too American’ is still another.  I had mentioned moving forward, but I guess my time in the seminary heading to Priesthood was a true love affair, and what I’m experiencing is akin to a ‘divorce?’.. Not so sure anymore. 

In the end, I remain loyal to Jesus and to my Faith.  My personality intact, albeit bruised (perhaps in need of psychological healing.)  I enjoy Theology, and yes,.. to those detractors, you are right,.. Pope John Paul II’s ‘Veritatis Splendor’ was his ‘halting’ of all the ‘Nouvelle theologie’ synonymous with the ‘spirit of Vatican II’ complete with its moral subjectivism.  As a man who grew up in it, then discovered Thomas Aquinas, I will always affirm the timeless Truths of our Faith, popular or not.  That doesn’t mean it will be done in a malicious/narcissistic manner, yet in a firm and paternal way by the Grace of God. 

My apologies to those readers of this blog who come here hoping to find a frothing at the mouth ‘traditionalist,’ as you won’t.  My opinions on what the Pope may or may not be thinking is simply too far down the list from my own sinful self.  Before I remove the speck in my brother’s eye, I need to address the log in my own.  As Dr Jordan Peterson says,.. I need to clean up my own house.  With God’s help, I hope I can put aside my ego, and let Jesus take the wheel.

May God continue to bless and keep you!

Our Lady of Good Success,…………………….. ora pro nobis.

Fr Optimus Prime.

Like all boys growing up, I had heroes.  These were men of virtue, characters who embodied true courage and nobility.  Honor perhaps is a better word.  Optimus Prime for instance, the courageous leader of the autoboots who gave his life for his cause.  He was calm, serene and composed. Another hero, was the character of Hulk Hogan.  He would yell and scream, encouraging all of us to ‘Train, Say our Prayers, Take our vitamins!  He always beat the ‘bad guys’ in wrestling.  (This of course distinct from the actual man who was jacked to the gills on **ahem** pharmaceutical aides!) Needless to say, that our heroes are people/characters we can try to emulate.  Well why not a priest?  I know some awesome holy dudes, trying to shepherd amidst this crazy world and they need our prayers!

Today is the Feast day of Our Lady of Guadalupe, the patroness of the Americas.  The Church in 2017 seems at a crossroads, but where there is much distress, there is even more grace to be acquired for our sanctification and the sanctification of others.  Heroes especially among the younger clergy are coming forward (along with some very faithful older priests), being bold and facing the world.  These men are heroes standing up for God’s faithful and encouraging us to grow, to think and to get Holy. 

Too often today we see a disconnect between being ‘pastoral’ vis a vis being ‘doctrinal.’  This false notion must come to an end, and I believe it will through prayer and the JPII generation of priests getting ready to ‘take the reigns’ so to speak.  To be ‘pastoral’ doesn’t mean speaking in soft feminine overtones with no punch, it means administering the proper dosage of Spiritual Direction at the moment the Faithful need it.  It means forming the heart, so that the heart may mirror the heart of Christ Himself.  Most ‘doctors’ administering euthanasia come off as ‘nice,’ but it does not change the poison that they will give to the patient. 

Instead of criticizing, we need to pray for our pastors, that they be men of prayer, holiness, courage, boldness and honor.  That they may preach with firmness and vigor, sometimes even rocking our worlds and causing us to think.  To paraphrase late Archbishop Fulton Sheen, in order to be a lamb in the confessional, you must be a lion in the pulpit!

Our Lady of Guadalupe,…………………………………………..ora pro nobis!

Questions to be Asked?,..

A recent homily given by a young priest hit a nerve among many of the Faithful and perhaps caused us to pause and to think.  Father Jacques Hemel, the martyred 86yr old french priest who went willingly to his death caused by two young ideologically bent followers of radical Islam.  The content of the homily was simple,.. 'Where were the men in the Parish to rush and protect this priest?'  We heard about the women and the nuns who assisted at the Mass,.. So where were the 'dudes' so to speak?

It goes without saying that the Church as well as society in the last 45-50 yrs has suffered a crisis in what it means to be a man.  The Church has often attempted to present a 'user-friendly' childish or feminine Liturgy whereby the work of God is put to the side in favor of a 'feelgood' community celebration.  As with any shift, whether cultural or social, we as human beings tend to go from one extreme to the other.   Gone is the Fulton Sheen, or Bing Crosby model of priesthood, and in its place, a recycled Mr Rogers has taken over along the buzzwords 'pastoral' and 'culturally sensitive.'  The results have been disastrous.

The Church has little to no men involved in Parish activity.  Most parishes have become so feminized that the homily feels like a tickle fest of cotton candy goodness!  This is a sad reality but one that must be addressed.  Yet the Church is a microcosm of what is going on throughout the Western hemisphere.  A total crisis in manhood, and those who suffer are the women.  Countless times I have been emailed by female friends asking why dating has become a near impossibility.  It seems that with the emasculating of the Church, came an emasculating of society and thus men have forgotten virtue, sacrifice, hard work and nobility.  In its place we have men who carry satchels (purses?) are encouraged to 'cry' and have a complete lack of any sense of responsibility.

Growing up this was not my reality, and perhaps one of the reasons why I'm considered 'archaic,' 'medieval,' and downright 'misogynistic.'  My father is an Alpha male and is gifted with street smarts.  He grew up in a verrrrrry working class neighborhood in Montreal, mixed Italian and French, learned to fight, to have respect, to be respected and to walk upright.  He raised me the same way.  I have always stood up for myself and been able to call out nonsense.  I was taught to value and protect women and those weaker than me, to stand when a woman walks into a room, and to give her my seat should she have none.  To help old ladies cross the street, and to always hold a door open.  If I were to come home and complain that I got bullied, my dad would reassure me and tell me to defend myself.  I was taught to be a 'man' and/or man up!  Better to scrap it out, maybe take a beating but gain the bigger kid's respect than to hide.  These lessons never left me and still continue to be part of me.  Thus since the age of eight, I have always trained in Martial Arts.  Jesus it seems, according to Scripture is no different!  In the second chapter of St John's Gospel, He makes a whip out of His belt and kicks some ass!!!  Yet why in society and in the Church do we get this fluffball Jesus???  Soooo my question is; what the hell is happening?

In society as a whole, extreme feminism, the so-called sexual revolution along the plague of pornography have turned men into selfish little monsters.  In the Church, perhaps too many 'delicate' men joined the priesthood to hide from the world?  The men who weren't in the Church during the murder of Father Hemel are the men who weren't in the real world and instead not really knowing what it means to sacrifice.  When we clean up our own selves and start acting according to our own nature, perhaps we will reclaim our position as leader, provider and protector.  Until then, I wish to apologize to all women who seem to be at a loss in finding a suitable husband.

St Joseph,   ora pro nobis

Blogosphere debate,...

Time to weigh in on what is (in my opinion), a high end pissing contest between Catholics in/on the blogosphere.  Three questions that I, the man beast Optimusmastro will address are 1.  Does hell exist?  2.  Do people ‘go there?’  and 3.  Can we reasonably hope that hell is empty?  Before I answer, let me give the pretext that I, and most men with testosterone were force fed during the ‘Cabbage Patch Jesus era’ that we grew up with!  Remember going to a funeral where Fr ‘Nice’ complete with a colourful stole (no chasuble!  Too Roman!!! ) with pictures of butterflies and other crap on it, delivered his sugary coated ‘homily’ of our loved one who died, in Heaven cheerfully feeding squirrels and singing with Mary Poppins…   Then freely accepting money to offer Masses for him!  I mean, why Fr McFruitloop?  He’s in Heaven, he doesn’t need prayers.  It wasn’t a funeral Mass, it was a canonization!  (Even though he died suddenly in a car crash, while coming back from a drug deal..) A little harsh?  It needs to be.

The purpose of priesthood, the meat and potatoes is to shepherd souls, that God entrusts to them.  As seminarians, we are training to prepare for that reality.  Priests sherpherd by assisting the local Bishop to administer the Sacraments of Christ, Offer Holy Mass, preach the Word, and lead people to Jesus.  It is Jesus who Saves!  However, when the above scenario takes place, (it used to regularly throughout the 1970s and 80s..) We should stop and ask the priest point blank;  ‘What does Jesus save us from?’  Think about it,.. If universal Salvation is the norm, then why would we need the Mass?  Morals?  What kind of sicko psychologically unbalance freak would give up sex for nothing?  Who cares!  That generation turned the Christ of the Gospels, Our Ressurected Lord, into a bubblegum pink unicorn who wants to hug you.  (Unless you pollute,..don’t ever pollute or question pollution and global warming climate change.)….

My friends, the battle is real, Salvation is at stake.  Jesus calls men to be priests.  To offer Sacrifice, the one Sacrifice, Calvary made present in our time and space.   OF Mass, EF Mass, Maronite, Anglican Ordinariate, Eastern Divine Liturgy,…ALL have the Sacrifice!  Why?  Because Heaven and hell are at stake!

One player, (We will call him the Intellectual Thomist) while doing a video, states that we can have a reasonable hope that hell is empty.  This notion, often attributed to Hans Urs Von Balthasar, can be mis-interpreted to mean Universal Salvation.  The reality is, that no…(despite the fact that it could lead someone to believe that,especially in this day and age.  The anecdote regarding Fr McFruitloop’s canonization/funeral was/is a reality that far too many of us experience.  That being said, it is true that many Saints and Mystics have been shown visions of hell and yes, there are souls there.  The question of ‘hope’ though seems absent.  To ‘hope’ is an entirely different story. 

The second player, (Magic Hair Man) responds with videos criticising the content of the former (Intellectual Thomist) saying that ‘Hoping’ that hell is empty is unreasonable.  Again, in context, this goes back to the post Council insanity, and Fr McFruitloop’s canonization.  From a pastoral perspective, what would magic hair man say to a mother who lost her son?  Perhaps the son didn’t live a holy life?  We cannot pronounce the soul in hell, but we can recourse to God’s mercy.  This won’t change the reality of the soul in question, as at the moment of death, judgement is pronounced.  It will however give recourse and comfort to the loved ones. 

I believe that this issue if one of competing extremes, and I can easily sympathize with both points of view.   Does hell exist?  Yes, Jesus spoke of it.  Do people go there?  Yes, as a consequence of free will, God accepts the choice of those who do not follow His commandments.  Can we reasonably hope that hell is empty?  Hope?  Yes, we must hope!  Reasonably,…ughhh,.. sorry.  Although God is merciful, I highly doubt that it is empty.  (Not to pronounce judgement.)

My friends, we need to be united… EF, OF whatever, be Faithful to Christ and His Church, then let the chips fall where they may.   I am reminded of the prayer to Our Mother of Perpetual Help,..

Our Lady of Perpetual Help,…………………………….ora pro nobis!

Vatican/Wag the Dog...

Catholic Church declares salvation for atheists!  Yup, that was one headline, and I won’t even bother cite the source because it is so completely ludicrous that it doesn’t warrant a backlink to a news outfit so completely left of center and agenda ridden that it can make George Orwell green with envy.   In 2000, the Vatican released ‘Dominus Iesus’ a theological document clarifying certain positions with regard to person’s outside the visible Communion of the Catholic Church, while under the Pontificate of John Paul II signed by then Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger and thus began a flood of ‘Catholic Church changes’ headlines complete with spin doctoring par excellence!  (And you thought I was gonna reference Pope Francis!,.;)) 

‘Dominus Iesus’ was released to reign in certain ecuMENTALists relativising everything.  It contained nothing new, and still maintained that the Catholic Church possesses the fullness of Salvation.  Still, the media, complete with its editorial lapdogs rushed to interview every protestant, muslim and Buddhist they could find, in order for them to comment on the mean old Catholic Church once again being medieval. 

In 2005, then Pope Benedict invited his buddy Hans Kung to the Vatican for a private 3 hour chat.  Similarly, the headlines began with ‘God’s Rottweiler getting soft’ and ‘Pope Ratzinger develops his ‘pastoral’ side.  Again, this time in 2006, then Pope Benedict made an academic  comment in an academic setting (Regensburg) referencing an 11^th century Caliph… It took the media blitz of 48hours and lo and behold, worldwide protests calling for the Pope to be beheaded.  Sigh,..

Enter Pope Francis.  On an airplane coming back from World Youth Day, he cites the Catechism of the Catholic Church with regard to people suffering from homosexual orientation.  ‘If they seek God and to do good, who am I to judge? (paraphrased.)  He did not say, that the Church will reconsider gay marriage, or any of Her other teachings.  Recently, he wrote a letter to the Italian Press, and well, I’m happy that I understand Italian!  You would have thought the Pope canonized atheists!  The Church’s teaching regarding all those outside communion is the following!

First from the Church Fathers;

Ignatius of Antioch:  (Letter to the philedelphians)  Those outside visible communion.

Clement of Alexandria:  (Miscallenies 1:5 208)  Speaks of philosopher attempting to find Truth. (Arche)

Point through all of this?  That all religions are not equal.  The Catholic Church is the means to Salvation, and those outside of Her, should they attain Heaven, are not saved by their protestant faith, but by those Catholic elements in it those communities that are a means of Salvation.  Can one set sail for Europe on a rowboat?  The short answer is YES!  However, there chances of getting there are greatly reduced.  The fact remains that all the available Grace open to them in the ordinary sense will not be there.  So in common speak,..an 8 year old boy living in the southwestern Pacific island of yet undiscovered Klpxgs, speaking the language of ‘mookmook’ yet seeking to achieve the good that his conscience, in conformity with natural law desires can attain Salvation by Christ, in a way known only to Himself.  I firmly believe this, The Church believes this, and St Thomas Aquinas believed this!  We are Saved by Grace!  The ordinary form of this is found in Jesus’s ONE HOLY CATHOLIC and APOSTOLIC Church.  God will be our judge. 

My friends, Pope Francis said absolutely nothing new, and yes atheists can be Saved.  Invincible Ignorance.  Are they free, and in clarity?  Two questions to ask when presenting the Gospel.  On a side note, let’s have some fun with the mass media, who is clearly pitting Pope Francis against Pope Emeritus Benedict,…Here we go!  Muahahaha!!! By the way, I read, and receive an awful amount of email, but always make time for Pope Francis' homilies;

On the 'ordination' of women?  Gasp! He's 'conservative! Quite hide that and don't publish it!   Gosh that Pope Francis likes to smile but he's against women's ordination?  I just can't believe it... hehehe...

On the Hierarchy/Magisterium of the Catholic Church?  Gasp! He's called out the heretic nuns on the bus!! I need to brew myself another pot of Sanka, by jove!  We were supposed to have elected in a 'Pope' who wouldn't 'Pope' in such an ideological way!  He was supposed to be the anti-Ouellet!!!  Get me Peter Parker and have him take more pictures of Spiderman, because we can't publish that!

Consecrating the Vatican to St Michael?  No,..Angels are mere literary devices, and well, that's soooo pre Vatican II!!  This Pope was supposed to concentrate solely of the plight of the Argentinian humming bird headed for extinction!  

Joining the Pro-Life March in Rome?  Again,..we can't publish that mainstream! What will our current democratic lesbian editorial staff think? That we are anti woman?  This Pope is supposed to relax and be pro choice, because well, he smiles alot and cares for the poor.

Consecrating his Papacy to the Blessed Mother?  Noooo,..don't you dare publish that, that sounds like something Wojtyla would have done!  Pope Francis, the 'progressive' and Mary... Because everybody knows that a hallmark of heterodoxy is devotion to the Rosary.

I think you get my point.  Oh yeah,...He has also finished Pope Emeritus Benedict encyclical on Faith (which is beautiful and shows,..gasp!  Continuity!)  He has mandated a worldwide Adoration vigil, (another hallmark of social justice 'catholicism' sarcasm...) and recently pleaded for a worldwide prayer vigil and fasting to avoid a war.  (The last two weren't covered by the mainstream media!)

His new Secretary of State (Parolin) is a solid theologian, Archbishop Ganswein remains prefect of the Papal household.  To my American friends, Cardinal Burke is still head of the Apostolic signatura. (He recently ordained some Institute of Christ the King priests. )  

For my fellow Liturgy lovers?  Despite a reprimand regarding the EF Form of Mass for the Franciscans Friars of the Immaculate (a move that I agree with by the way, as they used the Mass as a political tool...) The Summorum Pontificum Celebration/Anniversary is still taking place this October.  As well, in an address to the Italian Bishops, specifically with regard to this issue, 'The old Mass is not to be touched!'  It should be noted that Jesuits are/were never known to be great Liturgists...(See Msgr Guido Marini's aging the last 6 months..)

The media is clever and they are being told to divide Francis from Benedict.  The latest assault is that he is now friendly to Liberation Theology.  Some of it is good, while the Marxist stuff isn't.  So before anyone goes crazy; What are then Cardinal Bergoglio views on it?

'Though he is averse to liberation theology, which he views as hopelessly tainted with Marxist ideology, Cardinal Bergoglio has emphasized outreach to the impoverished, and as cardinal of Buenos Aires he has overseen increased social services and evangelization in the slums.' (The Conservative Touch)

Our Lady of Fatima,.............................ora pro nobis!