Friday, October 29, 2010

Taliban Catholicism and the Catholic Blogger

A short little rant today about an opinion piece that found its way into the mainstream media via the Washington Post. It seems that Catholic Bloggers want to purge the Church of any kind of dissent!! The shock! The horror! Can you believe it,.that 'We' the Catholic Bloggers are actually trying as best we can to live out our faith, be faithful to the Magisterium and thus don't subcribe to any heterodox super plan to attempt to change the Church into Episcopal Church 2, the Sequel. Y'know the one that doesn't pronounce any dogmas, because well, that would be judgmental, now wouldn't it?

So let's get straight to the point, cut through all the crap past the meat and into the marrow of the problem,. What is wrong with Catholics wanting to be Catholic? Are they friggin serious? 'Conservative' Catholic or 'liberal' catholik,..cause y'know that actually wouldn't be Catholic. How about 'flying' Catholic or maybe 'three headed' Catholic? Since we are delving into the absurd,..Sometimes the amount of nonsense put forth by the secular media knows no limits. So we, the bloggers are given titles such as 'Taliban' or 'Traditionalist' all because we refuse to accept the last forty years of feminized clergy preaching the Mr. Roger's, tree hugging, environmentalist, whale saving, tai chi practicing pseudo Jesus, who was a liberation theologian pushing for class struggle,..all from a lenten retreat given by Sister Rain Moondance inspired by the latest published book by Joan Chittister,.(which could double as toilet paper)! You know why the liberal elites are upset? Because the John Paul II generation understands the media and social networking. We are hip to Twitter, Facebook, Digg and MySpace and we are relentless! The dinosaurs(cause that is what you are now,..going into extinction..)are just too old to know how to use a computer! So what do they do, they attack in other ways,(maybe the New Yorker will come after us next)...They don't like the younger generation not being rebellious enough, actually reading the sources and drawing our own conclusions that 'Hey the Church makes sense on this or that issue' and 'actually Vatican II says this!'

So there you go,..Catholic Bloggers, we are the few, the proud, we will stand up for something, or else we will fall for anything. By the way, the quote by John Allen, (who is usually the most balanced voice on National Crapolic Reporter...)Yes you, Mr Allen, stop being such a pansy and come out either in favor or against. Believe me, I haven't made many friends operating this blog, but at 32, I believe the Church and am faithful to the Magisterium to the best of my ability. Am I a sinner? To quote Stone Cold Steve Austin,..'Oh Hell Yeah!!' But y'know what? Jesus died for me, and I'm gonna do my best to co-operate with Grace. (By the way, the Blessed Mother has a lot to do with my conversion) So, in closing, Mr Allen, the Apostles all went to their death for Jesus through martyrdom, (except John)we as Catholic Christians in the coming generation must be ready to do the same. Can you imagine them before the Romans saying 'it doesn't matter what you believe, or do,.because you feel,..blah, blah, blah,...' The wishy washy stuff has set us on a course which is irreversable,..two generations from now, will see our children living in the Islamic States of America and Canadastan. Why? Because, people(like you) were too timid or afraid. Mr Allen, I won't even give you credit for saying that 'to be fair, liberals act like that too.' As an educated man, you should know that despite current trends and vocabulary manipulation,..there is no such thing as 'liberal Catholicism!!!!'(Repeat it like a mantra...) The next time you get interviewed by the secular media, look down and feel between your legs,.make sure you have a set, then answer the question! Was that a little harsh? Was I being uncharitable? Be a man! By the way if you feel that way, know that around the corner from me there is a Muslim family with 5 children,.they live next door to a homosexual couple.

Our Lady of Fatima,....Ora pro nobis

5 comments:

Left-footer said...

Yay! Marco this is the real stuff, and great to read.

Brilliantly funny too! Wish I'd written it.

TH2 said...

Allen will always maintain his "centrist" position, which is a nice-nellyism for liberalism. In many respects, this is worse than straightforward left-liberal dissenters. Lukewarmness etc.

Thomas said...

That was great! Thanks for reading my blog entry on the same theme. Yours is awesome. My wife always proof-reads my blog posts, so she sort of cuts out the hard-edged, in-your-face stuff (not that I mind...I do appreciate her in-put). But I LOVE reading it on other blogs. Good stuff.

Optimusmastro said...

Thanks Left-Footer! As always, appreciate your comments!

TH2,.Your right. The more I hear of this guy,(Allen) he seems to cater to whatever audience he is speaking to,..he probably had a rough high school,..

Thomas,..Appreciate your comments. My style is me,..I came from the Martial arts/MMA/pro wrestling world, and never subscribed to the 'crayon' Jesus that the left over hippies taught us in school. We have to remember, he also threw the money changers out of the temple! Merciful Saviour, absolutely but He will return as Just Judge!

Patrick Button said...

"There is no such thing as a liberal Catholic." Exactly right! Great post!