Monday, October 31, 2011

The Few, The Proud,..The Seminarians!

Be a man!!! That's the battle cry of the Optimusmastro character! Why because it is high time, we, Catholic men, retook and reclaimed our identity as men! What is a man? Much more than just biology, it encompases virtue, values, discipline and honour. However, this doesn't change the fact that as men, we like to burp, fart and lift heavy things!  Why is though that the men we meet in 'spirit of the second Vatican Council' all look like they've,..ughh,..let's just say 'had a rough high school?'  A few months back, Fr Steve Grunow asked me to begin writing down a potential workout for priests, seminarians and religious. Only since the nineteen 1960s its not just a physical workout but an entire way of life must be mapped out! Too often this is lacking and the fruits were spread out across the mainstream media as if a tidal wave of pink crippled our clergy. My opinion was that this was an intentional effort notwitstanding, remember, 'no priests=no Eucharist!' So forget the feminist nuns and their little agenda of destroying the priesthood so we could ordain women,....(Sorry Sr Joan,..the numbers are against you..) 

1970s Schedule,..sort of,.;)

800am,..rise and shine, its okay if you miss Mass, cause it's only fellowship,..
900am,..Class, since there is no truth, let's go out side and watch the leaves turn colours,..yaaayyyy!!
1000am,..Islam Class and how it is such a beautiful religion by Sister Raindance McWhalesaver, (who in addition to being a 'women religious,' has embraced her muslim understanding by acting as an Imam at the local feminist Mosque..)..
12pm,..lunch (tofu..)
2pm,...Ecumenism and why we are still in a partiarchal closed minded institutional  Church which is not up to date..
330pm,..Social Justice,..reading selected writings of Karl Marx while sipping fair trade coffee...
500pm,..Nap :)
6pm,...Supper, vegan lasagna...
7pm,..Meeting with our Pastoral moderators to see our progression viewing God as He/She...
9pm,..to whenever,....sleepy time!  yaaaayyy!

So what do we do? Do we bitch and moan about it or do we roll up our sleeves and fix it! John Paul the Great, our late Holy Father lamented a crisis in identity and masculinity within the Church, the model St Joseph, pushed aside for Mr Rogers...So now, the modern seminarian, hearing the call of Our Lord to follow Him as His priest, gives up (freely..) his life and what has happened? Fr Flaky McNobackbone offers you sensitivity classes and little retreats asking you and other men to talk about your 'feelings' and maybe colour a little banner....Are they freaking serious???!!!?? Hey boyz, you wanna know why there are no vocations?!? So I recommend this little change in the schedule...

530am,......Meditation (Morning Prayer)
630am,......Mass
745am,......Breakfast
900am,......Class
1215,.........Lunch (Mid day prayer)
1315pm,....Exercise,..(MMA, boxing, weight training, running) During this time you can weed out the socially awkward guys...(Time to see the psychologist!;))
1500pm,....Divine Mercy Chaplet
1530pm,....Pastoral work with real people ( helping the blind, visiting the shut ins,..etc..)
1730pm,....Supper
1830pm,....Fraternity time wit da boyz! This is time used to speak about your day and experiences, to fellowship and be accountable for guys' type of sins, y'know masturbation, pornography etc,..
1930pm,....Evening prayer and Rosary
2030pm,....Study and downtime
2230pm,....lights out.

So there you have it! What's missing?? Take a guess, its television!!! You wanna watch, do it on your downtime..A surefire roadmap for attracting men to serve in the priesthood.  What else is missing?,..How about no meeting with Fr Fruitcake, and Monsignor Flaky regarding watching ladybugs and how cute they are!


St Jean Vianney,........Ora pro nobis.

2 comments:

Left-footer said...

Hey, Marco, this fills me with joy, hope, and fits of laughter.

Let's hope and pray that the end of the tame, house-trained Church is in sight.

Thanks and God bless.

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