Elephants and Discernment

Ohhhh the elephant in the room.  First off, I’d like to begin by saying that we are sinners.  We all need redemption and must trust in the Sacraments established by Christ through His saving Passion, Death and Resurrection to enable us to get to Heaven.  Through this journey and that journey, no doubt we have all met many great humble and holy priests, religious and lay people.  For myself?,. Well, I am and remain a work in progress with probably more issues that they could help me with,  then I could ever help them.  Why am I writing this post?  Well because like most of my posts, it falls into a category of reality and honesty.  People, God’s people ask questions,.. So perhaps we together can shed a little light on the matter?  Here goes!

Human formation, the most important part of Pastores Dabo Vobis by Pope John Paul II.  Sadly, it is my opinion that this part has either been neglected or not taken seriously.  Recently, the community in Montreal was faced with an issue of pedophilia.  Once again, the media will leap to attack the diocese, yet this time the media has gone silent in this regard, because the Diocese under a faithful Archbishop has done everything in its power to co-operate with this investigation.  The underlying issue remains, why so many ‘cases’ in the priesthood?  Perhaps, this prayerful opinion (that is all it is) can shed some light.  Guys like ‘me’ constantly would face this question; ‘You don’t look like a … ‘  or still my favorite when you tell them that you are considering the priesthood,.. ‘You serious?  Are you gay?’  Well,.. These are the questions of God’s people.

Priestly celibacy and chastity are always tricky issues.  I can only speak for myself.  I have had relationships, a few.  When I used to work out of a gym, I was much closer to Charlie Sheen than I could ever have been to Jesus.  Still, prayer (along with corporal mortification such as fasting) enabled Grace to abide in me enough to resist.  Let me be perfectly clear,.. Left to my own devices, I am sinful and there are lots of beautiful women.  My character is seductive, charming and I have never had a problem ‘articulating.’  All this adds up to a dangerous combination.  Still, perhaps Jesus can use these charisms for ‘good’ for His glory and not my own?  That being said, Prayer, along with a good exercise routine enables me to ‘expel’ energy.  Energy that a healthy man of my age would possess and need to expel.  Does this mean I don’t miss women?  To paraphrase Stone Cold Steve Austin,.. ‘Ohhh hell no!’  There are days when mother nature tag teams with concupiscence and will stretch me to my limit!  Those days,. I can either pray (the Rosary especially) or I can fall.   Our Lord chooses the Cross for us, we don’t choose it for ourselves.   My issue would be no different to that of a married man being faithful to one woman, when our fallen nature clearly has our compass pointing elsewhere, despite it having nothing to do with Love!  (To my married buddies, this is not license to have an adventure, read and reread what I said!,.. You are pretty much no different than a celibate if your living it properly!)  That means ‘prudence’ must be exercised!  The woman at work, that her beautiful eyes are the second thing you notice?  The one that looks like she converved herself in butter to fit into that dress?   Maybe its not such a good idea to meet up with her alone at her place,.. If you smell what the Rock is cookin,.. ? 

This ‘interior’ life means a constant focus on the Cross.  Christ and Christ crucified, which one is seeking to emulate.  The notion of discerning a reality FAR greater than yourself is consistently present.  Quiet time contemplating Jesus and knowing that He may choose you to work through.  In plain speak, you will be a victim like Jesus, and you will also in a certain sense be co-responsible for the salvation of those under your care.  To be a little more clear, you will go to hell before your people will because you will have to account for why they may be lost.  ‘Remember that with great power, comes great responsibility!’  (Uncle Ben to Peter Parker).  This prayer life is your gasoline and sustenance.  (BTW,.. If you don’t know who Uncle Ben or Peter Parker is, and you need to google it, then YOU need a serious course in pastoral reality reflecting people under the age of 50!)  Holy Mass and the Divine Office become vital.

The next step of the interior life of prayer, is a relationship with Mary.  Should God call you to Holy Orders, you have no woman in your life, as in no wife.  You most likely will have no children.  You need a feminine to relate to.  Mary becomes a recourse to celibacy and chastity.  From this prayer life, we grow our virtues, and let God to transform us.  The minute we think we got ‘under control’ He will let us slip up and fall! 

The second issue, again, in my opinion is that the seminary could be construed as the ‘safe space’ for all the awkward dudes trying to hide from the world.  Either they were/are completely introspective, homosexual, perhaps they couldn’t hold either a job or a girl?,. Who knows but they may have seen the seminary as a great hiding place,.. Well your issues will come back up to bite you in the ass if you don’t deal with them.  Its that simple!  The ‘asterix’ with regards to this issue, is that often times the clergy can be made up of such people, people who don’t function and thus they will weed out the regular guys discerning or simply seeking to live out God’s Call to Holiness.   On the other hand though, is that Jesus’s disciples were all made up of regular ‘f#@k ups!’  Read or pray the Gospels!,.. Peter, (Our first Pope) remains a very **ahem** regular dude shall we say?

The stakes have changed.  Gone are the days when seminaries accepted the kid right out of high school, formed and taught him.  The guys arriving these days are guys with experience.  Men who have been with women and have held jobs.  Some of them are even fathers.   Perhaps this needs to be taken into account?  The awkward guys, if your vocation is real, trust in God but don’t play a game.  To the gay guys, pray about what you are doing, this isn’t your personal club med. (Although sadly in many areas of the Church it has become one).   Most people, have a hard time calling ‘pedophilia’ the majority of the crimes, simply because the OVERWHELMING majority of the victims are post pubescent boys.  Please pray and think about what you guys are doing.  Myself?  I could never become a chaplain at strip club with women dancing.  Human nature is weak, and I would fall.  Use and apply the same principles.  To the gay dudes,.. You guys,.. I love you but you are called to the same celibacy and chastity as the rest of us!  Please respect that.  

To conclude, as I reflect prayerfully upon these issues, the key to the vocation of any Christian is to love.  To love all of God’s children, as if they were are own.  The priest, like a good spiritual dad must be ready to wipe away tears, to admonish, to protect, to counsel, to discern all the while offering the Sacrifice of the Son to the Father.  For myself, constantly discerning,.. I remain a ‘work in progress…’

Our Lady of Fatima,  ………………………………..ora pro nobis!

Post Legs Day Adoration,..

A little levity and a ton of humility.  The levity is with regards to the sometimes aggressive tone of my blog posts, while the humility lies in the little winks that God gives us to remind us,..well...not to be stupid!  Case in point, I will always actively train, that is part and parcel of who I am,..still, I think its time that I learn how to better balance my workouts so they don't fall near specific liturgical settings whereby I'm required to kneel,....not so cool..  Case in point training legs the day before Adoration, thereby letting delayed onset muscle soreness completely set in,...Yup!  Not my greatest moment!  The Hypostatic Union is the formula put forth by the Church to articulate Jesus's human and Divine Natures.  He is 100% of both.  To truly appreciate this blog post, I can almost picture Jesus in His full humanity probably wearing the same look on His face when He saw Zaccheus up the tree,.....'Dude,. Really?  Reaaally?' (Then laughing Himself!)

So let us set the scene, early September and the entire seminary is here, before some guys leave for there pastoral assignments.  Our gym is in the basement, and our activities for the day are over.  It was a Wednesday night, and since it was 'leg day,' I made my way downstairs to 'hit the irons!'  Already there were two members of the 'Marie Jeunesse'( here ) doing their respective workouts.  I looked at them and gone was the Faith dimension, in its place was 'I'm gonna show these 'punys' how its done!'  So I decided to go completely 'Old School.'  Squats, (supersets), Hamstring Curls (supersets) Leg extensions (supersets),..Then Bulgarian Split Squats with dumbells, calf machine, abductors, adductors and finally walking lunges. (With dumbells).  Keep in mind, though our gym is modest it does its job, and there is a beautiful Crucifix reminding all of us of our mission,..Our Call to Holiness!  (Unfortunately, the way I was stacking the plates and screaming out the last rep,..in my case, it should have been more the call to stupidity..)  The Marie Jeunesse guys probably thought I was long overdue for either an exorcism or at the very least, a good session of human development/psychology.  They went to bed,..and I finished my workout,..(thinking I was Ronnie Coleman) headed upstairs to my room to pray Complines and go to bed.

The next day, my legs were starting to stiffen, but that's normal,.. That evening however, wasn't.  As DOMS (Delayed onset muscle soreness) set in,.. and it came time for Adoration of the most Blessed Sacrament!  On our knees we all went, (in my case slowwwly, using a chair...)...'O Salutaris Hostia,...'  Yup,.. then into our chairs for an hour of Adoration.  While at prayer, Jesus reminded me that my ego is my worst enemy, the sin of 'pride.'  On my heart it was a gentle reminder but a reminder nonetheless.  The hour was up, and then it was time for Benediction,..(On our knees) Soooo,..Divine praises, then 'Tantum Ergo,..'  When it was over tears were running down my face.  (I have already experienced certain bliss and ecstasy at Mass...) but this time, the tears were PAAAIN!  Some of the directors thought I was in another ecstasy,..alas not the case,!

Jesus, the Good Shepherd, sometimes has a way of reminding His followers not to be prideful.  He couldn't have thought of a better way.  I mean who was I trying to impress?  The Marie Jeunesse seminarians seemed to care so little about how many 'plates' I could squat,.. Nonetheless, pride, the ultimate tool of the enemy is sometimes the sin with which we struggle the most!  The moral of this post is about pride, the secondary issue is don't train legs when you have Adoration the next night!  Thank you Jesus!  For by your Death and Ressurection, You have set us free, You are the Saviour of the world!

Sacred Heart of Jesus

Seminarian from Cybertron, fights Both Heretics and Decepticons!

With all the goings on happening inside the Universal Church, negotiations with the SSPX, discliplining of the Feminazi nuns and so forth, I figured that now is as good a time as any to give a little update regarding my situation, (as if I really matter...lol).  I have submitted my request to become a candidate to officially discern priesthood for the diocese of Montreal.  Last week, saw me meet with the admission committee of the Grand Seminary of Montreal, and from what I've been told, the meeting went extremely well.   The next step will see me going to Southdown in Ontario for a full psychological assessment, this is standard practise, as they want to make sure I'm sane.. Through various emails, I have been asked lots of questions, so I will do my best to answer them.  Once again I will pick a few and answer them online though 'Confessions' especially when some of them are kind of the same question just asked by different people.  Here goes!

Optimusmailbag Time!

1.  You seem to actively promote the Extraordinary Form of Mass over the Ordinary Form!  Why do you want to undo VII??  (This question was submitted to me by a parishioner at my home parish, who was made aware that I would be answering him through the blog.)

Ans:  I have answered this question before, but will do so again.  Your question is in fact two questions, not one.  First off, I grew up in the Ordinary Form and until a few years back had never been to an Extraordinary Form of Mass.  I don't promote one over the other, but what I do promote is orthodoxy and respect for Jesus truly present in the most Blessed Sacrament.  The Eucharist celebrated in the Ordinary Form never called for the priest to face the congregation.  For Christ to appear, the priest in a sense must disappear.  He is dead to himself, and acting as 'alter Christus' leads the people in worship with everybody facing east,..not the modernist feminazi drivel of 'he has his back to us..blah blah blah..)  The problem with most (not all) ordinary form Masses is sometimes the focus is people centered and not God centred.  The theology behind the new Mass, can murky the waters a little bit, emphasizing a more protestant understanding the Eucharist as meal, which while true, is the secondary aspect.  The Eucharist is first and formost a Sacrifice.  The priest acts as both 'priest' and 'victim.'  The silly sixties crowd hijacking the Council fear the Extraordinary Form because it is a much more disciplined form of worship which is totally God centered. 

The second part of the question is why I want to go backwards.  First off, VII is a pastoral council.  It defined no dogmas, but instead reaffirmed everything the Church has consistantly taught.  Saying that the true Church subsists in the Catholic Church is a more technical way of saying that the Church is the One True Faith.  Assigning degrees or potentials to other denominations or religions was the same way Aquinas looked at other Faiths,..(Summa Contra Gentiles).  An example of this is there is a significant degree of difference between Eastern Orthodoxy as opposed to Islam.  So in trying to figure out where they are, one has to see how much Truth (which is first and foremost Catholic) they possess.  While I do admit, some of the language can be interpreted as 'ambiguous' at best, and confusing at worst, the Church has reaffirmed Her position, that VII must be read it light of Tradition, not opposed to it.  Sorry to all the funky potheads from Woodstock, but your social justice marxism train fell off the tracks a long time ago.

2.  How do you deal with celibacy?

Ans:  From the standpoint of my conversion experience, and if you read my history..celibacy was not the problem, chastity was and is.  I led an active pagan lifestyle,..So it wasn't an overnight thing (Augustine's Confessions) and thus prayer, daily exercise, amending my diet, Sacrament of Reconciliation, Spiritual Direction, Eucharist, the Blessed Mother and simply put, trying to avoid occasions of sin.  If I fall,.then I get back up, basically Jesus slapping me saying I don't save myself, Christ does and this is God's reminder.  This issue will be with me forever.  I'm a man.  God did not take away my manhood.  If I see a hot girl, the first look is beauty, the second is lust.  As men we are wired that way.  Some dude tells you otherwise, don't tell him to see a priest, tell him to see a doctor! 

3.  Why the aggressive attitude?

Ans:  The priest is first and foremost a MAN!  So act like an f'n man!  Reading through the Gospels, I remember Jesus cleaning house when He needed to, (The Temple) St Peter cut a dude's ear off, and St Paul was well just a little different,..just a little..(kinda like 'Hawk' from the Legendary Road Warriors tag team).  The point is to intergrate all of our humanity and put it at the service of the Church.  Our Lord is pastoral, yet affirms Truth.  He meets people where they are, and then says to them 'Go and sin no more.'  Too often our male catholic experience of Fr Fruitcake colouring his little felt banners and adorning his sanctuary with butterflies and crap like that is an affrontery to his very office.  Why is the Extraordinnary Form attracting men?  The same reason the Martial Arts and the Army do,..  If you can't figure that one out,..then you need a lobotomy...

4.  If you become a priest, will Optimusmastro die?

Ans;  No, but he might become Rodimusmastro instead.  Optimus was always cool under pressure, the ideal leader.  Myself, though I'm a huge Optimus Prime 'mark' I have too many weaknesses,..tempermental, emotional, insecure..basically a Catholic hot head!,...  Maybe I'll be assigned a parish with a priest who will have the qualities of Ultra Magnus to guide me? ;) 

Off to book Southdown!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

St Augustine of Hippo,.........................ora pro nobis!

Gracie Diet and Theology

We have all heard it said that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit.  The question remains why don't we treat them as such?  Now in the past I've hit hard on the dangers of pornography, masturbation, and how it could ultimately turn you into a zombie, that is mindless, withdrawn and ultimately ineffective.  Yet, we don't often concentrate on food!  What we put in our very bodies! We treat our cars better! My mother and I recently had this conversation and she expressed reservations about me 'offending' overweight people with this post,.well here goes, I'M GONNA OFFEND!!

Going to school at the Grand Seminaire de Montreal offers me a great chance to walk downtown.  What do I see,.an increasing number of overweight people gorging themselves!   Burger King, McDonalds, LaFleur, La Belle Province, whatever...Bottom line is that university students, (you know the ones now making the American news with their protests and riots...) do not find the time to either eat properly or seek out fresh indredients.  What is the result?  Well last year, I met over thirty people with diabetes, all under 25 years of age.  We should be ashamed as members of western society that this is happening.  Parents are not monitoring their children's food intake, while the kids are less interested in sports and instead play Nintendo.  Overweight children, means a shorter lifespan period!  Where are all the social justice blowhards on that one?  (As I write this, I'm in a food court, 'Greenpeace' members are ordering their trios at the McDonalds' stand...save whales and environment, yes, all the while treating your digestive system to an all out assault by putting pigeon McNuggets into your body.  hmmm..)  The biggest workout our body does everyday is the very action of digestion. 

As a trainer, I would recommend people eat balanced meals 5-6 times a day.  Obviously portion control becomes a factor, using the inside of your hand as a guide.  A healthy balance of proteins, essential fats, Carbs (not man made sugars!!!!) and greens.  Try to eat 5-6 servings of vegetables a day, raw or steamed.  Eat them first so they enter your digestive system first and use their own enzymes as a breakdown.  If you don't have time to eat 5-6 times a day, then I would recommend something called the Gracie diet.  (Which is what I do!!!  Yaaay!!!)  The Gracie diet, founded by Master Carlos Gracie, which I'm sure you can find online, consists of eating 3 meals a day but knowing what foods combine and don't combine.  An example would be, Acidic fruits are to be eaten alone, so you would have an entire meal of oranges, (Rorion Gracie eats 15 of them!) and also early in the morning, so it will aid the digestion of last night's food.  Group A foods (meat, vegetables and fats) combine with each other plus one from Group B (Starches, Rice, Pasta...).  Group B foods do NOT combine with each other.(there goes the pasta with bread!)  Usually if this is my cooked meal, I will eat it around 4:30 in the afternoon.  Group C foods also combine with each other, plus 1 from Group B.  So a Group C meal would be bananas, honey and bread (brown..)  If you are interested, email me.  (By the way Rener Gracie's Renergy sandwich tastes awesome!!! )  My mother used to make fun of me eating spinach in the morning inside a sandwich and now is about to join me in accepting the Gracie diet.  You basically eat whatever you want, as much as you need, but in the right combinations!

Food is our bodies gasoline.  It, like sex is a 'good.'  The primary reason for food is to sustain us in being, to keep us alive!  That doesn't mean we can't enjoy it, but it has to be looked at from its raison etre.  We are to control food, not it control us, or else like sex, pornography and masturbation, it becomes an addiction.  I am writing this post, because too many people suffer this addiction.  Bored? Eat!  Sad?  Eat!.  Angry?  Eat!  How do we break the cycle?  The same way we break the masturbation/pornography habit!  Be accountable, with a friend, try to place your trust in them to guide you.  Tell them when you fall, and then lift yourself up, dust yourself off and begin again.  As well, don't forget to give yourself a free day!  It will help you psychologically by giving yourself something to look forward to!  For me its Sunday.  I start my day off with the ultimate superfood, the living manna from Heaven that is Eucharist, then pasta, sausige, meatball, brasciole, cookies, cake, maybe even a poutine,..but on Monday, its right back to discipline!

For more info,.or if you need a diet, simply message me, but kindly allow three weeks for me to respond to you.

St Sebastian,...............ora pro nobis!

Strategies for Men to Conquer the Devil...

The following program is from EWTN's lineup 'Crossing the Goal.'  It was emailed to me, and I believe it is important for men to understand our enemy, how he operates and recourse to a Catholic men's show geard towards men.  The last thing I want to do is turn this blogsite into a youtube carnaval.  However, it must be noted that if I do see something of interest like this program,..I will post it.  Along with of course from time to time,..my own little video uploads...

St Michael the Archangel,.........ora pro nobis.